Keys to Relationship Harmony
Relationships are not self-sustaining. These ten pillars offer a calm, practical way to care for a serious partnership with mutual respect and love.
I’m aware that we are living through a time when dating has become particularly difficult. I’m not going to address, here, the issues related to that challenge. This isn’t to say it’s not an important, even vital, topic. However, my focus is on those of you who have found a partner and are in a serious relationship or already committed in a marriage.
When couples are in a serious relationship, preparing for a wedding, or newly married, the natural tendency is to be focused on the joy of the experience and to avoid, either consciously or not, areas of difference or subjects that are sensitive to discuss. While this is understandable, it can lay the groundwork for future difficulties that could otherwise be avoided.
Relationships are not self-sustaining. If only they were! Like all things of value, relationships require attention, care and nurturing. Over decades of my professional life assisting couples in working through differences, or mediating actual conflict once differences reach critical mass, I have gained insight into certain principles that can go a long way toward helping sustain your relationship in a mutually respectful and loving way.
Ten Pillars of Relationship Harmony
- You are not responsible for anyone’s happiness but your own.
- You are responsible for supporting your partner in what makes them happy so long as it does not harm them or anyone else.
- Discover ways to communicate without threatening or denying your partner’s reality.
- Expressing how words or actions make you feel is a better way to be heard than judging your partner’s behavior.
- Respect the need for space, privacy, and alone time. It’s not a statement about your worth, it’s a statement about their need.
- Differences of opinion are not the same as differences in values. Opinions change and should be open to being challenged. Values define who you are.
- Change is inevitable. Allow for growth and adapt to it in yourself and your partner, even in areas you thought were permanent.
- Honesty cannot be overrated. It makes you reliably authentic.
- Trust is priceless and fragile. Treat it as such. Once lost, it is nearly impossible to fully regain.
- No matter your relationship’s current circumstances, twice a month on the same day stop, remember, and feel what you first loved about your partner and why you chose them.
